I remember in first grade, before it was mandatory to give EVERYONE in your class valentines, when you would make valentines for only those you liked like your friends or Robby who sat a couple of desks away from me. Or Eric W. Or Nick N. I can only remember this happening one-year, probably because it was too brutal. I can remember standing by my desk waiting for everyone to walk by and hopefully, cross-my-fingers, would put valentines in my cut open milk jug decorated in pink and red construction paper and gobs of Elmer’s glue. We all knew that those who got more valentines were looked upon as celebrities and those who got few were scoffed at. Our value and worth was determined during this time based on how many valentines we received. And as sad as it is, I don’t think much has changed since first grade.  

I’m pretty good at being single. For 24 years and approximately 5 months, I have remained and situated myself in this status. Most of these years I didn’t choose the single life, some could say the single life chose me. The other times I was a baby so I didn’t have much of a say in the matter. Well, I don’t think I’ve ever had a say in the matter. Some times I’m super excited to be in this season of life and other times I’d accept a ring from the first guy who would give me one. OK, maybe I’m being a little dramatic, but you get the idea. I’ve used my relationships, or lack of, as a determining factor to how special I am or how worthy I am of love. If a boy gives me a valentine, I’m special. If not, I’m insignificant. But, through all of my independence or loneliness, God has taught me a lot.


Whether you’re reading this and find yourself in a similar situation as me or are in a relationship, or whatever your current status is, you are made complete in Christ (Col 2:10). Christ is your identity, not your relationship status, or if you have a valentine, how many likes you get on Instagram, or the grades you get. The most important thing in our lives should be our intimacy with Christ. Through all the loneliness I’ve experienced and bouts of self worth issues, Jesus has eclipsed all of it. I have grown closer to Him, have found refuge in Him, comfort in Him, love in Him, and peace in Him. Jesus accepts me. I am His child. I am made one with the Lord and have been made righteous through Him. This is true for everyone who believes!


However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me--the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace.” (Acts 20:24) (Philippians 3:8-11).


Who or what do you seek refuge in times where you feel incomplete or invaluable? I promise that nothing will satisfy or fulfill more than a relationship with Jesus!